4 Mantras for Relationships
Darling, I am here for you.
Darling, I know you are there and I am so happy.
Darling, I know you suffer, that is why I’m here for you.
Darling, I suffer. I am trying my best to practice, please help me.
In an interview with Oprah, Thich Nhat Hanh offered a concise and powerful approach to healing conflict in your relationship. I’ve transcribed a clip of the video here:
Thich Nhat Hanh - “I’d like to talk about the mantras that you just mentioned. The first mantra is, “Darling, I’m here for you.” When you love someone, the best thing you can offer him or her is your presence. How can you love, if you are not there?
Oprah - That’s a lovely mantra, “Darling, I’m here for you.”
T - And you look into his eyes and you say, “Darling, you know something? I’m here for you.” You offer him or her your presence. And your true presence. You are not preoccupied with the past or the future, your project. You are for your beloved one. The second mantra is, “Darling, I know you are there, and I am so happy because you are truly there.” You recognize the presence of your beloved one as something very precious. And you use your mindfulness to recognize that, embrace your beloved one with mindfulness and she will bloom like a flower. To be loved means to be recognized as existing. And these two mantras can bring happiness right away. Even if your beloved one is not there, you can use your telephone and practice the mantra.
O - “Darling, I’m here for you.”
T - Yah.
O - And “Darling, I know you’re there.”
T - The third mantra is what you practice when your beloved one suffers. “Darling, I know you suffer, that is why I’m here for you.” Before you do something to help her, to help him, your presence already can bring some relief.
O - And the acknowledgement of the suffering, of the hurting…
T - Yah, and the fourth mantra is a little bit more difficult, that is when you suffer. And you believe that your suffering has been caused by your beloved one, so you suffer so deeply. And you prefer to go to your room and close the door and suffer alone.
O - Yes.
T - You get hurt. And you want to punish him or her for having made you suffer.
O - Yes.
T - And the mantra is to overcome that. The mantra is, “Darling, I suffer. I am trying my best to practice. Please help me.” You go to him, you go to her, and practice that. And if you can bring yourself to say that mantra, you suffer less right away…
If you would like to study further, I recommend reading True Love by Thich Nhat Hanh.
Please note: this book is a general recommendation and is in no way required to purchase by clients/patients. Any books recommended in the course of therapy can be purchased at the discretion of the client through any vendor of their choosing. As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small amount from qualifying purchases at no expense to customers using the links below.